[[SFX: A bright glockenspiel melody fades in]]

KRISTEN DIMERCURIO: Hey guys, welcome to the first part of the finale! Before we start the episode, let’s address that, oh my god, the season is almost over. What ever will you listen to after this? Where will you find audio fiction content that is funny, well produced and well acted? Well fear not. Because we know the Next Stop on your listening journey. Get it? Okay, well the show is called Next Stop and don’t worry they’re a lot funnier than that joke was, trust me. This show was created by Eric Silver and Multitude Productions, so you know it’s good. It’s an audio sitcom about a group of friends navigating their 20s in the big city. It’s an updated, uplifted version of the buddy sitcom we all know and love. This show is doing numbers, and for a good reason! It’s full of shenanigans, heartwarming moments, hilarious scenarios, and also absolutely ridiculous banter. It’s honestly delightful. So check them out at nextstopshow.com, or you can listen to Next Stop wherever you get your podcasts. We’re sure you’ll enjoy the ride. Now without further ado, here is Episode Nine, part one.

[[MUSIC fades out]]

A PRODUCT OF THE WHISPERFORGE, SOUND AND STORY BROUGHT TO LIFE

[[SFX: Whirr of an old Answering Machine. BEEP]]

HORNBLAS: Hey, this is Hornblas, lead singer of Mall Rat. Misroch, Asmoraias, Belzagor and I aren’t home, so leave us a message.

[[MUSIC: A Rockin’ 90’s bass line begins underneath Hornblas’ message.]]

HORNBLAS: None of us are demons by the way. Definitely not from Hell. Okay. Cool. You know what to do.

[[MUSIC: Brimstone Valley Mall Theme Song. Rock guitar and drums join the bass.]]

-- SCENE 01 --            

[[SFX:The boiler room of Hell, XAPHAN is back to work. We hear strong winds as she presses air through the bellows with her jacked arms. There are flames sizzling, metal clanking and radiators hissing in the background. Xaphan is in her demon voice]] 

BELZAGOR: Knock Knock.   

XAPHAN: [[SFX: In her demon voice]] A.. A knock knock?

BELZAGOR: Yes, Xaphan! It’s me. Let me in!

[[SFX: XAPHAN stops stoking the bellows and goes to the door, removing an enormous lock and chain]]

XAPHAN: Belzagor!! You came!!   

BELZAGOR: I told you I would. It took me fucking ages to find this place though. I think this is the deepest into Hell I’ve ever been. And I work in the blood sewers.

XAPHAN: It is very strange having someone else in here.

[[SFX: XAPHAN’s body sizzles as she transitions into her humanskin and human voice]]

BELZAGOR: This is really the whole Boiler Room, huh? This is barely bigger than the kitchen at Weiner World.

XAPHAN: [[SFX: human voice]] It is. Quite small, yes.           

BELZAGOR: And hot as Baal. How the fuck do all of the flames of Hell connect in this one little room?

XAPHAN: With difficulty. I must get back to work, the flames will die. [[SFX: she picks up the bellow]]

BELZAGOR: [blocking XAPHAN’s path] Woahwoahwoahwoah. Sloooow down there kid.

XAPHAN: The flames must be kept alive!           

BELZAGOR: That’s no longer your problem.       

XAPHAN: But it-  is always my problem.           

BELZAGOR: Not anymore. I brought you a present.

[[SFX: She reveals a medium sized gadget]]

XAPHAN: What is this?   

BELZAGOR: My latest invention. Okay. Step aside. These bellows are a little smaller than I’d imagined, but if I tinker a bit, my device should still attach to them... Hm...

[[SFX: she starts tinkering, attaching the machine to the bellow, she works over the following dialogue]]

XAPHAN: I can’t believe you came.           

BELZAGOR: Of course I did. You can’t help us find Hornblas if you’re down here working up a sweat for the rest of eternity with nothing but your arms to keep you company.           

XAPHAN: Us?       

BELZAGOR: It was a joke, don’t disassociate your arms from your body, that’s not good for-

XAPHAN: No, no you said “help us find Hornblas.”

BELZAGOR: Oh! Yeah, Mall Rat, the whole band. We’re all looking for him, try to keep up.

XAPHAN: I thought...               

BELZAGOR: That we would abandon you down here because your name isn't on the contract Hornblas made with the devil so you're technically off the hook for Y2K and it's not really "your problem" plus you're not in the band anyways?

XAPHAN: Um. Yes.       

BELZAGOR: Nah. Fuck that. It just took Misroch a minute to come up with a full plan. Also I had to sneak out of work. Also, I made you this.

[[SFX: she turns on the machine, we hear the bellows pumping air into the flames strongly and uniformly, it’s fully automated now, much less labored than when Xaphan did it.]]

BELZAGOR: (CONT'D) Ha. Works like a charm.                   

XAPHAN: [awestruck] It’s...               

BELZAGOR: Doing your job perfectly? Yep. I’m actually kind of surprised they had you doing this manually for so long. It's just basic engineering.

XAPHAN: I’m...

BELZAGOR: [very cooly] Getting busted outta here! Now come show is tomorrow, and no sign of Hornblas yet, you’re gonna help me break into the records office.

XAPHAN: I... am?

BELZAGOR: Yep. Misroch’s idea. I’m those gonna need arms of yours. Now come on, we don’t have much time.               

[[SFX: she starts going up the stairs, stops when she realizes Xaphan isn’t following.]

BELZAGOR: (CONT'D) Xaphan? ... You coming?

XAPHAN: I... One minute. I... have to say goodbye.    

BELZAGOR: To who?

XAPHAN: To the bellows. The boiler room? This... This place.

BELZAGOR: Oh- right. This was, kinda your first home, huh? [scrambling] Yeah, um. Take your time, I’ll just step out-

XAPHAN: [suddenly over the moment] Okay. I’m ready!

BELZAGOR: Oh. Wow.

XAPHAN: Help me lock the door? They can’t know.

BELZAGOR: Done.

[[SFX: Xaphan joins BELZAGOR outside of the room, they lock up the chains on the door together]]

BELZAGOR: (CONT'D) Done. And no one will be the wiser. Now let’s go, there’s about 30 million stairs between us and the others.

XAPHAN: Belzagor... I owe you-

BELZAGOR: A slushie? Yeah you do. Now come on.

[[SFX: they run up the stone stairs. Guitar lick fades in]]

-- SCENE 02 --           

[[SFX: The sound of Pandemonium, the capital city of Hell. We’re at a bazaar full of merchants in demonic voices, yelling things over each other]]

MERCHANT 1: Eyeballs! Get your fresh eyeballs here!

MERCHANT 2: Step right up, step right up and witness a live human flogging while you get your hooves polished!

MERCHANT 3: Need six eggs? We’ve got six eggs and they’re not too expensive! 

[[SFX: tapping on a recorder]]

ASMORAIUS: Testing, one, two, testing...

MISROCH: [snippy] Asmoraius. Belzagor told us not to tap the microphone.

ASMORAIUS: I will tap what I want.

[[SFX: he taps the microphone again]]

ASMORAIUS: (CONT'D) [into the mic] Why hello, demons of all shapes genders, colors and creeds! Welcome to my podcast-

MISROCH: [squaking] What the fuck is a podcast?

ASMORAIUS: We are on the hunt for our missing lead singer and friend, Hornblas-

MISROCH: Asmo, that’s not how recorders work. It’s not a radio.

ASMORAIUS: [playing reporter] This is Misroch, loveable curmudgeon playing hooky from Hell’s kitchen-

MISROCH: Asmoraius. Quit it. Did you bring the flyers?

ASMORAIUS: [away from mic] Yes! I printed them out this morning at Kinky’s Copy Center.

MISROCH: Give me those.

[[SFX: MISROCH grabs the flyers from ASMORAIUS]]

ASMORAIUS: [back into mic] And what amazing flyers they are, folks.

MISROCH: Let me check them. [reading] “Have you seen this demon? Reward for information.. There’s definitely a reward. We are not lying. Also come see Mall Rat play at the Y2K Party in the Inner Sanctum. Attendance is mandatory, but still. It’s gonna be great. Contact info below.”

ASMORAIUS: The copyediting is... interesting?

MISROCH: I wrote it in a sleep deprived haze on the bus. So fuck you it’s perfect. [[SFX: Shuffling papers]] But, what’s with this shitty drawing of us and why are we shaped like we went through a taffy puller?

ASMORAIUS: It’s called “anime”? Damien drew it!

MISROCH: Who?       

ASMORAIUS: One of the goth teens. With the bangs? Anyways, it’s our first piece of fan art so I thought it would make a good addition to the poster.

MISROCH: Do we have to pay him for this...?

ASMORAIUS: Of course not! He’s being paid in exposure. [into the mic] For you folks at home, that’s what we in the biz call: being smart. [giggles] Now, as Misroch hands out these flyers, I'll do some investigative reporting!

MISROCH: Just… Don’t get distracted, Asmo. When you’re done meet me in the Bile Market by the Fountain of Effluvia.

ASMORAIUS: And if I get any juicy info?

MISROCH: Then go to a payphone and call this number.

[[SFX: hands him the flyer]]

MISROCH: It’ll page my beeper.

ASMORAIUS: You have a beeper?

MISROCH: Yes. Belzagor got it for me, now you go that way, I’ll go this way.

ASMORAIUS: Aye aye captain!

[[SFX: MISROCH starts walking off in the other direction]]

MISROCH: Beep me if you have any information. The number’s on there. Hey, hey you! Do you want a free sample- I mean flyer?

[[SFX: MISROCH shoves the flyer down a demon’s throat]]

DEMON: [coughs off in the distance]

MISROCH: Take the fucking flyer!

[[SFX: MISROCH’s voice trails off as they walk away, ASMORAIUS speaks into the microphone]]

ASMORAIUS: Alright, folks let’s try that intro again.

-- SCENE 03 --

[[SFX: SERIAL style piano music starts]]       

ASMORAIUS: (CONT'D) From This Hellish Life and DMNZ, this is Venereal, the story of a missing bandmate, summoner, and friend, told interview by interview from demons on the street. I’m Asmoraius. This week we’re in Vendere Bazaar, a major hub of activity in Pandemonium, Hell’s capital city. It's investigation time. 

There’s a demon over here by the torture tweezers stand. Let’s start with him.

Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to answer a few questions? I’m looking for Hornblas, demon of summoning?

JAMORUS OLIVETH: Oh, yeah, I know that guy.

ASMORAIUS: Can you state your name for the record? And then tell us anything you know about Hornblas or his whereabouts.

JAMORUS OLIVETH: Sure. I’m Jamorus Oliveth, demon of madness and CEO of Spishack. Uhh. I knew Hornblas back in the B.C. He dated my friend’s roommate. Kind of a mopey guy. Good singer though.

ASMORAIUS: Do you have any idea where he might be now?

JAMORUS OLIVETH: Umm.. Last I heard he was sent up to Earth on assignment? He should be back down tomorrow night to summon us to Y2K though, right? Actually, I think his Band is opening for The Reckoning. I heard his band kinda sucks-           

ASMORAIUS: Okay! Well clearly you have an anti-music bias and can’t be trusted. NEXT!

[[SFX: Cut to next interview]]

ZACHORETH VALENTIUS: Hi, my name is Zachoreth Valentius, Demon of Communications Office. Hm.. Last I heard, Hornblas was trying to “make it” as a singing mime? Which is weird because like, how would anybody know he’s singing... I thought he died eating a jawbreaker, though.               

[[SFX: Cut to next interview]]

ALEXANDROGG DANERUTH: I’m Alexandrogg Daneruth.

JEFFOZIUS VAN DEMON: And I’m Jeffozius Van Demon.       

ALEXANDROGG DANERUTH: An- and we’re both demons of the Red Line.

JEFFOZIUS VAN DEMON: So… Hm. I don’t know. When was the last time we saw Hornblas?

ALEXANDROGG DANERUTH: Didn’t we bump into him in Vegas?

JEFFOZIUS VAN DEMON: Oh that’s right, he was um… He was-

ALEXANDROGG DANERUTH: I thought he was- uh robbing a casino.

JEFFOZIUS VAN DEMON: No no, I’m pretty sure he was starring in a pilot for a reality TV show called ‘Unreal World.’

ALEXANDROGG DANERUTH: Y’know… I heard he’s a human sympathizer.

JEFFOZIUS VAN DEMON: Alexandrogg, don’t say that!

ALEXANDROGG DANERUTH: What? It’s j-just something I heard.               

[[SFX: Cut to next interview]]

ASMORAIUS: Well, you heard it here first. Will we find Hornblas? Did he abandon us? Did he ever achieve his dream of becoming a singing mime? This and more, after the break.

-- SCENE 04 --

[[SFX: cut out of recording, cut to BELZAGOR and XAPHAN standing in a hallway in some huge empty industrial building somewhere. They’re standing in front of a door. The room resonates with a glaring low tone.]]

BELZAGOR: Alright, Xaphan. This is it.

[[SFX: BELZAGOR opens the door revealing a very large room full of millions and millions of loose papers flying. She turns on the fluorescent lights that kind of buzz, those shitty office kind, one is flickering]

BELZAGOR: Oooh my-

XAPHAN: AHHH!!! This is the most MAGNIFICENT place I’ve ever seen!!!

BELZAGOR: Xaphan! Don't scream! No one can no we're here!

XAPHAN: [in an excited whisper] Look at it! The wonder!

BELZAGOR: It’s the Records’ Office.

XAPHAN: The endless piles of paper! The boxes of more paper! The binders! The cabinets! The knowledge just waiting to be read! You brought me here to help you read through these mountains of files! To read until I can read no more!

BELZAGOR: [genuinely asking] You’re kind of a freak, do you know that?

XAPHAN: Thank you. Thank you for bringing me to this “Records Office.”

BELZAGOR: I brought you cause I figured we’d have to break the door down or rip it off it's hinges or something. But it was just unlocked.

XAPHAN: I am useful for more than just my arms.

BELZAGOR: Fuck. This place is way bigger than I thought it would be.

XAPHAN: It's chaos!!

BELZAGOR: Absolutely no organizational system. Classic Hell. 

XAPHAN: I will read all of it!

[[SFX: XAPHAN starts for the papers, BELZAGOR halts her]

BELZAGOR: No. Xaphan. We don’t have time. Just look for anything involving customs or border crossing investigations, hell-police reports, anything suspicious about coming into and out of hell. If Hornblas snuck down here, then we’re gonna figure out how. Misroch thinks that will point us in the right direction.

[[SFX: papers fly out of a chute on the other side of the room]]

BELZAGOR: (CONT'D) What was that?

XAPHAN: More papers! They just flew out of that little hole in the wall.

BELZAGOR: Ohhhh. Woah, that makes so much sense!

XAPHAN: It makes no sense at all.

BELZAGOR: When I worked in blood gutter design, we’d have to submit all this paperwork all the time. Permits and proposals and shit. When we were done we had to dump them into this one slot to be taken to the record’s office. I just…

[[SFX: more papers continue to fly out]]

BELZAGOR: I didn’t expect that this was where they went.

XAPHAN: [giddy] Into this OCEAN of KNOWLEDGE??

BELZAGOR: [on her toes] This is gonna take forever. Okay. Think logically. Ummm...We should start over by the chute. Anything that has to do with Hornblas would be more recent.

XAPHAN: Let us swim to it!

BELZAGOR: We are about to get SO many papercuts. Shut the door.

XAPHAN: Yes! We have learning to do!

[[SFX: The ruffle of papers.]]

-- SCENE 05 --

[[SFX: Back to ASMORAIUS’s episode of Venereal]]

MARKOTH SOLLINGAZ : Hi. I'm Markoth Sollingaz, demon of Dark Archives, uh- 81st  division.And yeah- I do know Honrblas. One time he was supposed to summon me to Lucifer’s for my quarterly review, but he uh, fucked it up and I wound up tits deep in the boiling blood lake of the seventh circle. Still love that guy though.

[[SFX: cut to next interview]]

ERICAZ SILVAGORE: Ericaz Silvagore, Demon of Dungeon Mastery. Oh, Asmoarius? Is that really you? We went on that date together at Fornication Point. Right after the Fall happened!

ASMORAIUS: [through recording] Oh! Yes that’s right, of course! We shared a... memorable evening!?

ERICAZ SILVAGORE: You never replied to my Sonagram.

ASMORAIUS: You mean Hellagram?

ERICAZ SILVAGORE: No. Sonogram!

ASMORAIUS: I have to go!

[[SFX: cut to next interview]]

DAVORIUS CUMMINGER: Davorius Cumminger, Demon of Not Sleeping. Oh shit. Hornblas? That guy is nuts! He convinced like a whole legion of us to go to the sixth circle and draw funny faces on all the butts of sinners with their heads frozen in the ice! [deep laughter, clears throat] Anyways um, what was the question?

[[SFX: cut to next interview]]

VIRGYL: My Name is Virgyl, Demon of Power. I’ve been on assignment in the Canyon for millenia, so unless Hornblas was stationed there, then how would I have possibly have seen him? Hmmm. You’re a demon of lust, right? You really should try to get transferred there. I can’t recommend it enough.

[[SFX: cut to next interview]]

MISCHATAROTH STANTERAG: Mischataroth Stanterag, Demon of Basically All the Sound.  Hornblas? Never heard of her. What does she do? Like. Blas the horn? [laughs]

[[SFX: cut to next interview]]

ASMORAIUS: This search is turning out to be less fruitful than I imagined. But we shall press on! After a snack! [woozy] I think I could use a snack. Excuse me sir? Have you seen Horblas? Or a vending machine?

[[SFX: A guitar lick]]

-- SCENE 06 --

[[SFX: Back in the records office, XAPHAN digs through paper]]

XAPHAN: Belzagor! I found something!

BELZAGOR: [annoyed] Uggggh what is it this time?

XAPHAN: You're angry.

BELZAGOR: Yeah! We've been doing this for hours! And we've found basically nothing.

XAPHAN: This box says “Immigration Office” on it.

BELZAGOR: How did they get a whole box down the chute?

XAPHAN: There’s a box chute.

BELZAGOR: What? Where?

XAPHAN: Beyond the pile of scrollsm then swim left towards the pit of business cards then it’s just behind the stacks hieroglyphs carved into stone slabs.

BELZAGOR: Satan, I do not miss chiseling stone slab reports in duplicate. Alright, hand me that box...

[[SFX: opening the cardboard box]]

BELZAGOR: (CONT'D) Sweet devil in Hell, this one's actually in alphabetical order. I never thought I'd be so happy about alphabetical order.       

XAPHAN: [in French] abcdefghH! [in English] H! Hornblas! I found him! Look at this!

BELZAGOR: What? Let me see that.

[[SFX: She takes the paper from XAPHAN, a moment while she reads it]]

BELZAGOR: Oh... shit.

[[SFX: The door to the office opens, CARPASINUS can be heard in the distance speaking to his orderlies]]

CARPASINUS: It’s nonsense. No one sneaks into Hell. You, go find the evil density readings from yesterday, they should be over by the chute.

BELZAGOR: [whispering]  Xaphan! Get down!

[[SFX: they dive down into the sea of papers]]

XAPHAN: It’s the mean demon!

BELZAGOR: Oh fuck Carpasinus cannot be here right now.

CARPASINUS: And you, go find the printouts on density fluctuations for New York City. Over by the-- [[SFX: XAPHAN quietly gasps]] Wait. Did you hear something?

BELZAGOR: We gotta get out of here.

XAPHAN: Your lighter.

BELZAGOR: What?

XAPHAN: The lighter you always carry. We must use it.

BELZAGOR: I- Oh shit, Xaphan?

XAPHAN: We will create smoke, then escape.

BELZAGOR: We’re literally going to burn thousands and thousands of years of documents.

XAPHAN: I know! The knowledge!!

BELZAGOR: I take it back. You're a freak and a genius!

XAPHAN: You understand me.

CARPASINUS: [calls out] Is someone in here?

XAPHAN: Do it.

BELZAGOR: So long, suckers.

[[SFX: she flips open the lighter, flicks it on, we hear the crackling of flames. A guitar lick fades in and out]]

-- SCENE 07 --

[[SFX: Cut to ASMORAIUS in the Venereal recording]]

ASMORAIUS: Here we are. A dozen hours and a hundred interviews later, as we come to the close of this podcast. Do I have an answer? I’m not sure. When I first started on this case, certainty, one way or another seemed so attainable. I know the listeners have been anticipating the conclusion to this season, to finally get some real concrete answers. Well....

MISROCH: Asmoarius! 

ASMORAIUS: This has been Venereal. I’m Asmoraius, signing off.

[[SFX: At the fountain of Effluvia. Effluvia means bodily fluids. So. A fountain of that. That sound. I’m so sorry. It’s night now and the market stalls are closing up or closed up already. MISROCH leans against the fountain.]]

ASMORAIUS: Well look at you, looking all moody leaned against the fountain of bodily fluids. It’s rather romantic.

MISROCH: Give it a rest, Asmo. This day was fucking exhausting.

ASMORAIUS: Tell me about it. It turns out: Podcasting? Hard.

MISROCH: Did you get any info?

ASMORAIUS: Yes. I spoke to about 200 demons!  They all pointed me in different directions and offered nothing conclusive.

MISROCH: [unsurprised] Wow. You really buried the lead there. 

ASMORAIUS: Did you have better luck?

MISROCH: Nope. 

ASMORAIUS: Well. Maybe Belzagor and Xaphan have found something -

BELZAGOR: [appearing suddenly] We did.

MISROCH/ASMORAIUS: GAH! 

ASMORAIUS: [cursing] Satan’s farts!       

MISROCH: How did you DO that?

XAPHAN: I taught her.

BELZAGOR: Sneaking up on people is way harder than Xaphan makes it seem.

XAPHAN: “I’m a freak and a genius.”

BELZAGOR: Anyways. We got info. And it's not good.

XAPHAN: [proudly] We also destroyed thousands of years of knowledge.

MISROCH: What do you mean it's not good?

BELZAGOR: He’s here.

ASMORAIUS: What?

XAPHAN: In Hell. Hornblas is IN HELL.

MISROCH: We already knew that! This is not new information.

BELZAGOR: He bought a bus ticket.

MISROCH: What?

ASMORAIUS: But Carpasinus said he didn’t!           

XAPHAN: Yes. That was true.           

ASMORAIUS: I am so confused.

BELZAGOR: Read it for yourself.

XAPHAN: We stole the paper with his name on it!

[[SFX: hands the paper to MISROCH]]

MISROCH: It's a customs receipt. He arrived in Hell from Port Authority on Wednesday, December 29th, 1999 at 8:15pm. He checked in at Hell- Customs... Blah blah blah. Oh. Here. It says Reason for Entry: “Attending Y2K.”

ASMORAIUS: Wait. 8:15... That was...

XAPHAN: The bus right after our bus.

BELZAGOR: Multiple busses leave Port Authority every day. He got on-

MISROCH: No, I know how busses work. But what about the summoning? When the teens saw the border to the underworld? Wasn’t he already here?

BELZAGOR: They must have done the ritual wrong.

XAPHAN: They’re not very good at things.

ASMORAIUS: You know, I hadn't even considered that, but looking back, it suppose we did put a lot of faith in a couple of mall teenagers.

MISROCH: Well this is... Great! This is great news!

BELZAGOR: [sarcastic] Yeah. Awesome news.

MISROCH: Yes! Wait. Why did you say it like that?

BELZAGOR: Because it doesn’t solve our problem. Why did he come back down alone? Why was he avoiding us? This basically answers nothing.

ASMORAIUS: No, it answers everything! The slip says “Attending Y2K.” He’s going to be at the show!

BELZAGOR: [pleading] We don’t know that.

MISROCH: His name is on the contract too, Belz. If he doesn’t show up and play, he’s also mega-fucked.

ASMORAIUS: Plus. Now we know he’s not in some kind of trouble.

BELZAGOR: Why wouldn’t he contact us then?

MISROCH: He can explain himself at the party. What matters is he’s going to be there! And we’re NOT going to be made into flaming snot rugs for the rest of our existence!

BELZAGOR: Something still isn’t adding up.

XAPHAN: If he shows up, am I still his replacement? WHO WILL I BE?

ASMORAIUS: Let’s cross that identity crisis when we get to it.

MISROCH: This is amazing! The search is over!

BELZAGOR: How is it over? We still don’t know where he is!

MISROCH: Belzagor. If you want to run off into the night and keep looking for him, be my guest. But I’m considering this case closed.

BELZAGOR: [hurt] Fine... I’ll see you guys at soundcheck tomorrow.

MISROCH: Don’t be like that, Belz.

BELZAGOR: [sacastically] See you then!

[[SFX: she walks off]]

ASMORAIUS: She storms off almost as dramatically as you do.

MISROCH: Hey.

XAPHAN: What now?

ASMORAIUS: Well. I, for one, would kill for a cocktail.

XAPHAN: A what?

ASMORAIUS: Oh, Xaphan, we have so much to show you.

XAPHAN: How many tails does it have?

ASMORAIUS: Three. Misroch you in?

MISROCH: You know what? FUCK yeah I am. Let's celebrate not being damned forever. We’ve earned it.

XAPHAN: I was never damned in the first place! Let's go!

[[SFX: they walk off into the night]]

[[MUSIC: Musical Outro - melodic, ominous strings warming up]]

-- CREDITS -- 

KRISTEN DIMERCURIO: Demons and Mortals alike, thank you for listening to the first part of the season one finale of Brimstone Valley Mall!

Now we know you’ve waited very patiently for this finale, and hey! It paid off because part two is in your feeds right now. That’s right the finale installment of season one is available right now, so hope you’re ready! ‘Cause we’re not. 

This show was written and directed by Kristen DiMercurio. Hey! That’s me!

It was co-written by Mark Wolf Roberts and Talia Rochmann.

This episode was sound designed by Jeffrey Gardner, and recorded by Jared Paul and James Schoen. With music by Julianna Parker

In this episode you heard:

Misroch, played by Elliot Gindi
Belzagor, played by Susannah Wilson
Asmoraius, played by Mark Wolf Roberts
Xaphan, played by Isa Braun
And Carpasinus, played by Christopher Trindade 

Did you notice some familiar voices in this episode? Well that may be because today you also heard James Oliva, writer of What’s the Frequency, Zach Valenti of the Wolf 359 Team, Marc Solinger, writer of Archive 81, Alexander Danner and Jeff Van Dreason, the writers of Greater Boston, Eric Silver, writer of Next Stop, David Cummings, Host and Producer of the No Sleep Podcast, Tau Zaman, writer of Caravan and the voice of Virgyl, and Mischa Stanton, the sound wizard of the Whisperforge. 

Additional voices were done by Caitlyn Jones and Zach Libresco.

Our theme music is written and performed by FM Buller.

Our show art is designed by Talia Rochmann.

Brimstone Valley Mall is produced by Kristen DiMercurio, with Production Consulting by Julia Schifini.

It’s Executive Produced by Mischa Stanton for the Whisperforge.

Also, this is it! If you’re a patron and you haven’t heard your name in the credits yet, then your time has come! We’re finally listing out the last of our patrons from our Indiegogo. So let’s give the gothest high five possible to: Jenny Lamb, Michael Blunt, Barbara Regan, Stephanie Spence, Sara Masterson, PJ Scott-Blankenship, David Litvak, Karina Meijs, Jennifer Sugden, Breena Beck, Emese Takacs, Flo Petite, Anna Rodriguez, Robert Anderson, and Chloe Jury-Fogel.

Want more good good demon content? You can follow us on twitter @bvmpod, and facebook, instagram, and tumblr at brimstonevalleymall. By the way, our Tumblr is now run by Mark Wolf Roberts, the voice of Asmoraius and one of the co-writers of the show. He’s hilarious, you’re gonna have a great time. Check it out.

Now head on over to the food court, because today’s Weiner World Special Is: Cocktails! Can I get a gin martini with extra holy water? Hold the tails.