A PRODUCT OF THE WHISPERFORGE, SOUND AND STORY BROUGHT TO LIFE

[[SFX: Whirr of an old Answering Machine. BEEP]]

HORNBLAS: Hey, this is Hornblas, lead singer of Mall Rat. Misroch, Asmoraias, Belzagor and I aren’t home, so leave us a message.

[[MUSIC: A Rockin’ 90’s bass line begins underneath Hornblas’ message.]]

HORNBLAS: None of us are demons by the way. Definitely not from Hell. Okay. Cool. You know what to do.

[[MUSIC: Brimstone Valley Mall Theme Song. Rock guitar and drums join the bass.]]

-- SCENE 01 --               

[Voicemail]

AUTOMATED VOICE: You have ONE new message. Received TUESDAY DECEMBER 28th, 1999 at 7:00 am.               

[[SFX: the following line is extremely distorted, staticy, but also with some otherworldly interference. We should only be able to make out a word here and there]]       

HORNBLAS: Hey guys! Hello? Can you hear me? Hello? Sorry I’m having trouble getting a signal... hang on. Let me mess with this a little and I’ll try again later.

[[SFX: hangs up]]

-- SCENE 02 --

ANNOUNCER VOICE: Hello! Thank you for choosing to ride the Negabus, Hell’s No. 1 public transport service from Earth to the Underworld. You are ordering from our Port Authority Bus Terminal location. To purchase a one way ticket to Hell, please state your name and Demon Security Number.

BELZAGOR: Belzagor, no. 666... 02-5736

ANNOUNCER VOICE: Thank you! Your name and number have been registered: [cut in] Bel-za-goor, no. 666-02-5736. [end cut in] The amount of your fare is [cut in] 4,420 [cut in] sincoins! Please insert coins into the slot to purchase your ticket.   

BELZAGOR: Okay, let’s see here.

[[SFX: a giant sack of coins thuds onto the floor, she opens the bag and takes one out, puts it in the slot]]

ANNOUNCER VOICE: Thank you! Sin: threatening to kill your mom with a leaf blower over a toy. Category: [cut in] 2XX84 [end cut in], Moderate Sin, has been registered! Please insert the remaining [cut in] 4,419 [end cut in] sin coins!

[[SFX: BELZAGOR takes another coin out of the bag, inserts it into the machine, it jangles into the slot]]

ANNOUNCER VOICE: (CONT'D) Thank you! Sin: Stuffing your sister’s Christmas Present in the Blender. Category: [cut in] 9AJKNW [end cut in], Moderate Sin, has been registered! Please insert the remaining--

BELZAGOR: [interrupting the machine] Oh you have got to be kidding me... 

ANNOUNCER VOICE: [cut in] 4,418” [cut in] sin coins!

BELZAGOR: [nervously] There has to be a faster way to do this.

[[SFX: BELZAGOR presses a button, the machine repeats itself]]

ANNOUNCER VOICE: Please insert the remaining [cut in] 4,418 [end cut in] sin coins! 

[[SFX: presses another button]]

BELZAGOR: AUUGHH! I don’t-

[[SFX: She tries the same button]]

ANNOUNCER VOICE: Please insert the remaining [cut in] 4,418 [end cut in] sin coins!

BELZAGOR: [over the machine] No. Nononononono. I’m not doing this.

[[SFX: presses more buttons, which makes the machine repeat “Four-hundered and fourteen” over and over,

BELZAGOR: (CONT'D) FUCKING .. UUGHGH. 

[[SFX: BELZAGOR kicks the front of ticket machine with her metal frame, it rattles] 

BELZAGOR: I HATE PORT AUTHORITY!

NEW YORKER: [from a distance] Preach sister!

BELZAGOR: HEY, FUCK YOU!       

[[SFX: The NEW YORKER walks closer]]   

NEW YORKER: [cheerily] Oh! A New York local huh? Well fuck you too! Have a good one! [[SFX: He walks away]]

BELZAGOR: UGGGHhh.               

[[SFX: a beat, she reaches into bag and grabs a coin, inserts it into slot]]           

ANNOUNCER VOICE: [fading out] Thank you! Sin: [SFX: robotic voice cut in] Shoving a toy into your babysitters mouth until they suffocate and die. [cut out] Category: 29J2XX. Major Sin... 

[[SFX: Guitar lick fades in as the announcer voice fades out and BELZAGOR inserts another coin]]

ANNOUNCER VOICE: (CONT’D) has been registered! Please insert the remaining [cut in] 4,417 [end cut in] sin coins!

-- SCENE 03 -- 

[[SFX: Interior of the food court at Port Authority in the 90s. Grimy, sketchy, crowded, smelly, full of confusion and anxiety. Their voices sound hollow in a remote dining area]]           

MISROCH: [wearily] Okay, one order of fried oysters from Red Mobster for Asmoraius, one order of hot dawgs from Gabriel’s Coney Island Dawgs for Xaphan, a Slurry Queen milkshake for Belzagor, some Grubway “Eat Flesh” for me. Oh, and some Plunkin Donuts Plunkers to share.               

ASMORAIUS: Ooh, I love plunkers. Where’s the coffee?   

MISROCH: Nobody asked for coffee.               

ASMORAIUS: They’re called plunkers, Misroch. What am I supposed to plunk them in? That’s the entire point of Plunkin Donuts.

MISROCH: [scoffing] No one actually plunks them, Asmoraius. That’s disgusting.

ASMORAIUS: It’s delicious!

MISROCH: It makes the donuts soggy!           

ASMORAIUS: That is the point. Soggy dough balls soaked in caffeine, Mmm!

XAPHAN: [interjecting] What is caffeine?

MISROCH: You’re not allowed to have any.           

XAPHAN: Fine... for now. Just give me the DOGS! 

[[SFX: She scarfs a weiner down instantly, but suddenly gasps and ejects the food from her esophagus]]  

XAPHAN: BLEGh. These food court wieners are not as good as yours, Misroch.

MISROCH: You think so?

XAPHAN: [curiously] Why is your human skin turning red?           

MISROCH: It’s not! It’s- it’s just hot in here.

XAPHAN: No, it’s 64.5 degrees in here.           

MISROCH: How do you just know that?           

ASMORAIUS: I think Misroch was blushing.       

MISROCH: I was not! Now, eat your disgusting food court oysters. Which are probably poison by the way. [indignantly] Who in their right mind orders seafood at a bus terminal?

ASMORAIUS: [cooing] I like it when you blush.       

MISROCH: I was NOT. Blushing.           

ASMORAIUS: [unfazed] Suuuure you weren’t.

XAPHAN: Where’s Belzagor?           

MISROCH: She’s buying our tickets. And taking a very long time.

ASMORAIUS: I think she’s still hungover from yesterday.

XAPHAN: Maybe she's lost?

ASMORAIUS: Oh, most definitely. This is the most confusing building on the planet. May be hours before we see her.

BELZAGOR: Hey guys. [[SFX: Her approaching footsteps]] Oh! Is that slushie for me? [[SFX: slurrrp]] Huh. This flavor is weird.

MISROCH: It’s a milkshake, and you’re welcome.

BELZAGOR: [calmly] I didn’t say it was bad, It just... tastes like dairy but with an added layer of filth and anxiety.

ASMORAIUS: That might just be the general atmosphere of New York, love.

BELZAGOR: I’m kind of into it. [[SFX: slurrrrps]]

MISROCH: [interrogating] You’re in a good mood. Why?           

BELZAGOR: [confident] I’m just relieved. The ticket machine was slow as Beelzebub, but I figured out a way around it, because I’m a genius.

XAPHAN: What is a genius?

BELZAGOR: Someone who just paid a human to buy all of your tickets for her.

MISROCH: Wait. What?

BELZAGOR: Yeah, this human came up to me and said “Hey buddy, wanna buy a watch?” and instead I told him I’d give him $10 to stand there and put the rest of your sin coins in.

XAPHAN: Yeah, that’s logical.

MISROCH: Belzagor, that’s a terrible idea!           

ASMORAIUS: Seems like a good trade to me. That lady’s voice in the ticket machine is the worst.

BELZAGOR: And she sounds so familiar...       

MISROCH: [panicked] What if the human makes off with all of our sincoins??

BELZAGOR: Who cares? I bought my ticket. It’s just you guys who would be screwed.

MISROCH: [yelping] Belz!           

BELZAGOR: Relaaaax Misroch, what would he do with them? Sincoins are worthless to humans, it's like play money.

ASMORAIUS: [genuinely] How will he buy our tickets without our demon security numbers?

BELZAGOR: Oh, I just gave him our sector papers. That’s what I was gonna use anyways, you think I have all of your numbers memorized?

XAPHAN: I have all of your numbers memorized.

BELZAGOR: That’s... kind of sweet but mostly creepy...

ASMORAIUS: [hesitant] Hmmm... Perhaps giving him the coins and our security codes is very... trusting? 

BELZAGOR: He seemed like a chill guy. Had some great watches!  [[SFX: slurrrrp]] It’s almost like there’s grease in this thing. Like a fried... milkshake. Huh. New York is fascinating.

MISROCH: [angry] Someone should go and make sure he’s not STEALING OUR IDENTITIES!

ASMORAIUS: Is this you volunteering?       

MISROCH: [giving up] Augh! ...which way to the ticket machines? I haven’t been here in decades.

BELZAGOR: Fuck if I know, this place makes no fucking sense, go that way and try making a few lefts and see what happens.

MISROCH: [whispering] If he’s run off with our sincoins, I swear to Lucifer I will kill you and everyone else in this stupid place 

[[SFX: MISROCH walks off]]

ASMORAIUS: [unfazed] Can you pass me the fried oysters? [sweetly] What’s the matter, Xaphan, don’t like your Coney Island Dawgs?

XAPHAN: All of this food is not as good as Weiner World.

BELZAGOR: [flaty] That’s because the food at Weiner World is made of people.

XAPHAN: I feel strange.

ASMORAIUS: Oh the oysters will do that to you. Your stomach is going to be wrecked for days.

BELZAGOR: Then why did you order them?       

ASMORAIUS: [coy] I don’t have to explain myself to you.               

XAPHAN: It’s not my stomach that feels bad. It’s in my chest? In between my ribs? They feel... displaced. The smell here is different. And I can’t hear the carousel, or the arcade. The doorways don’t ding, and the food tastes bad. The humans look different. [a beat] I... I want to go back to Brimstone Valley Mall. I know it there. I don’t know it here, and ... anything could happen, it makes me feel... Bad! Sick!

ASMORAIUS: Xaphan, are you “homesick”?               

XAPHAN: That sounds right. Homesick.

BELZAGOR: [confused] Homesick for the mall? You just got there a week ago, it’s not even really your home.

XAPHAN: [self-assured] I miss it.

ASMORAIUS: But what about Hell? Surely that’s more important to you than the mall?   

XAPHAN: Hell was... quiet. For me.

BELZAGOR: Even with all the screaming?       

XAPHAN: I couldn’t hear it. Not from the boiler room.

ASMORAIUS: Well, yes I do suppose the bellows are pretty far underground.

XAPHAN: Just the sound of the flames. Just the heat.

ASMORAIUS: This sounds like the beginning of some fantastic erotica and I’m honestly intrigued.

BELZAGOR: Quit it, she’s having a moment.       

XAPHAN: I just... In Hell I knew my purpose. It was simple. I never had to think... or feel... But now, standing at the scorching precipice of Hell’s hungry maw, all I feel is the ghost of parking lot snow. [[SFX: A beautiful, sad melody from a violin fades in]] The way it landed on my skin as a soft bird, the playful pinprick sting of it’s cold talons. The pearlescent droplet, the mark it leaves behind, it rolls a trail down my skin! it falls to the asphalt, and I am a great, still tower. I’d never known the cold. I’d never felt... delicate.

BELZAGOR: Hey, buddy! [[SFX: The violin halts] Will you take that violin somewhere else? We don’t have any money for you!   

ASMORAIUS: [sobbing] Xaphan, that was... beautiful.

XAPHAN: [abruptly] I read The Bell Jar on the way here.

ASMORAIUS: Oh Xaphan, I hope you stay on Earth with us!!!

BELZAGOR: Asmoraius.   

ASMORAIUS: What?   

BELZAGOR: [sighs] Not to be the asshole here, but, once we pay our dues and go back down, we can’t just like, come back up again. [a beat] Earth contracts are randomly assigned, it might be thousands of years before any our numbers are picked again.

XAPHAN: ... Oh. 

BELZAGOR: [back-peddling] B-but, we can still hang out! In Hell.

ASMORAIUS:    Yeah!               

BELZAGOR: I’m not gonna lie, I really don't wanna go back, but... maybe with friends it might be... better?

ASMORAIUS: I can take you both to all of my favorite fucked up things I like to do that I don’t talk about around Misroch.

BELZAGOR: [hopeful] Yeah! And I can show you the blood drains! Well. Maybe even better? Once news gets down about all the sins my Furbaby caused, maybe I’d actually be promoted to something more interesting.       

XAPHAN: [groaning] I’ll be in the boiler room...           

ASMORAIUS: [scrambling] Oh.. Hm.. Then- we- will come visit you in the boiler room.

XAPHAN: Really?

ASMORAIUS: Yes! We love fire. Right, Belzagor?   

BELZAGOR: Yeah...       

XAPHAN: [panicing] What’s happening to my face? There’s... water leaking... near my eyes.

BELZAGOR: Oh Satan. We’ve gone too far.       

[SFX: The loudspeaker voice speaks at them]

ANNOUNCER VOICE: Attention Port Authority Bus Terminal Degenerates! The next Bus to Hell leaves in approximately 15 minutes from terminal 666. Or maybe not. It’s Port Authority so, we might just change it up on you! Why not, let’s make it... Terminal 8? Or “Blue”? Or, let’s just close our eyes and pick one. Good luck!       

BELZAGOR: [referring to the similarity in all of the announcers’ voices] I swear I’ve heard her before.

ASMORAIUS: We better get going. Let’s grab Misnis and our tickets and find that bus.

BELZAGOR: Then, let’s find Hornblas.       

XAPHAN: Then, I’m in the band.   

BELZAGOR/ASMORAIUS: No.

BELZAGOR: Let’s go. 

-- SCENE 03 --   

[[SFX: A guitar lick fades in]]

ASMORAIUS: Psssssst. [[SFX: The guitar lick cuts out abrubtly] PSST. Misroch. You awake?

[[SFX: The low rumble of a bus driving at nighttime. MISROCH and ASMORAIUS whisper across the seats to each other.]]

MISROCH: My eyes are open, Asmoraius.           

ASMORAIUS: So what? You used to sleep with your eyes open sometimes.

MISROCH: I did not!

ASMORAIUS: There’s photographic evidence in a shoebox under my bed that you used to sleep with your eyes open sometimes. Can I come sit next to you?

MISROCH: I was enjoying the silence-

ASMORAIUS: [suddenly squealing] Excellent! 

[[SFX: Shuffling as he goes from one side of the bus to another, and sits down next to Misroch]]   

MISROCH: Ugggh.   

ASMORAIUS: So, I wanted to check in on the plan.

MISROCH: What plan.

ASMORAIUS: The plan, you know, how we’re going to find Hornblas?

MISROCH: How should I know?

ASMORAIUS: Oh, come on. You know you have a plan.

MISROCH: No, I really don't, Asmo. Once we arrive in the morning, we only have three days to find him before the party.

ASMORAIUS: Oh! Well then that sounds brilliant.

MISROCH: What does?

ASMORAIUS: [pleased] What you just said! The bus arrives in Hell, then we have three days to find Hornblas. Brilliant plan.

MISROCH: That’s not a plan Asmoraius, that’s just what has to happen.

ASMORAIUS: [goading] And I trust that under your great leadership, it will...       

MISROCH: [exhausted] You’re going to go straight to the pleasure gardens aren’t you?   

ASMORAIUS: [poorly lying] Whaaat? Me? No! Of course not! I’m definitely going to help look for Hornblas with you and will certainly not run off to the pleasure gardens the moment my foot alights the floor of the underworld! [a beat, sheepishly] Alright, I might stop by there briefly. 

[[SFX: MISROCH grunts with frustration]] 

ASMORAIUS: I’ve been on Earth for decades! I’m sure all the other lust demons must be dying to see me. I’ll stop in for a quick visit to take care of a few things, you know, get my fucks in a row, and then, I’ll absolutely galavant around Hell with you looking for Hornblas. 

MISROCH: Asmoraius, you’re just going to be put back to work, and you know how hard it is to request time off once they’ve got you on the schedule.

ASMORAIUS: Oh I think most of Hell is going to be busy preparing for Y2K, darling, we should be able to slip away for a few days without-

MISROCH: [with venom] You’re doing it again.

ASMORAIUS: Doing what?

MISROCH: You called me darling.           

ASMORAIUS: I call everyone darling!       

MISROCH: [through their teeth] Yeah, and that’s part of the problem! [a beat] Did you say goodbye to Trent before we left?

ASMORAIUS: I left him a note. Explaining everything.

MISROCH: And by everything you mean...           

ASMORAIUS: [dramaticizing] Everything. That we’re demons. That we’re going back to Hell for Y-2-K. That I wished I could stay on Earth with him, but our friend may be in trouble. That if he wanted to be really romantic he could show up at Port Authority, just before we get on our bus and beg me not to go!   

MISROCH: Asmoraius, I can’t believe you revealed all that to a HUMAN.

ASMORAIUS: What’s the worst that could happen? We’re leaving anyways. And Trent is different. He’s not like other humans.

MISROCH: Ha. Sure.

ASMORAIUS: I... Well, he didn’t show up at the bus station anyways. So I suppose he didn’t care as much as he said he did.

MISROCH: You sound sad about that.           

ASMORAIUS: I don’t know how I feel. I’m not particularly accustomed to feelings. Eugh.

MISROCH: I don’t want to talk about this anymore.

ASMORAIUS: [a challenge] Alright. Back to your plan.       

MISROCH: Part of me can’t believe that I’m actually going back down. That I'm giving up my last few days on Earth to go searching for Hornblas in the underworld.

ASMORAIUS: [earnest] He would do it for you.           

MISROCH: [smugly]  I know.

ASMORAIUS: We like you just as much as him you know.

MISROCH: Ha! Stop lying to my face! 

ASMORAIUS: [softly] I’m not. 

MISROCH: [ranting] Hornblas is perfect. He’s funny, he’s talented. I’ve never met someone who wasn’t instantly charmed by him. And it’s effortless! He just, exudes that kind of “come with me, follow me, you’ll love it” thing... and I hate that I don’t know how he does it! I hate that even though he continually leads demons astray, they’re still so willing to jump up and follow him wherever he goes.

ASMORAIUS: Well, Misnis. He wouldn’t be much of a summoning demon if others didn’t want to follow him places.

MISROCH: And it worked. On all of us! You, me, Belzagor. We all transferred to South Central Pennsylvania, for Satan’s sake! All because he made it sound like it would be so good to be in one place. Together. To start a band.

ASMORAIUS: [offended] And it has been good!

MISROCH: [whisper-screaming] I know and I hate it!!!           

ASMORAIUS: Alright. Answer this: Why does Belzagor come to Weiner World every day?

MISROCH: I don’t know, to get free food?           

ASMORAIUS: We're demons. We don't need to eat. When was the last time she actually ordered something?

MISROCH: I... actually don't know.           

ASMORAIUS: [gently] She’s a vegetarian, Misroch. Chooses to be. Has been for decades. And maybe a-- liquitarian? I’ve never seen her eat solid food maybe ever!

MISROCH: [hesitantly] I never noticed that.           

ASMORAIUS: She doesn’t come to Weiner World for the Wieners. She comes to hang out with you.

MISROCH: But we fight all the time!   

ASMORAIUS: [with fervor] And then you go split a cigarette in the employee parking lot! That’s just what you two do! That’s how you function! As “friends”?           

MISROCH: But-

ASMORAIUS: Even Xaphan likes you. Have you not noticed how she follows you around like a lost puppy all the time?       

MISROCH: Okay, she’s actually in it for the weiners.

ASMORAIUS: She loves what you make! What you’re passionate about. You’re a culinary artiste, and she’s obsessed with your work. You might be her hero!

MISROCH: HA... I don’t think I’m anyone’s-           

ASMORAIUS: [cuts them off] I’m not done. Hornblas wouldn’t have asked you to transfer to Brimstone Valley Mall if he didn’t see something in you. You bring order to everything, to your kitchen, to the band. You bring determination, focus, and intent! The rest of us would be running around like hell-chickens with our BUTTS cut off if it weren’t for you. Myself included.

MISROCH: Asmoraius, I-               

ASMORAIUS: Could you be less shouty about it? Maaaybe. Could you be less patronizing about it and less controlling about everything, absolutely! But then, I wouldn’t be nearly as attracted to you as I am.

MISROCH: Asmoraius, you’re attracted to everything.

ASMORAIUS: [holding back emotions] That’s besides the point. The point is that we like you. And we need you. [sternly] And if you want to be like Hornblas and get people to follow you, then you need to lead.

MISROCH: I... I don’t know how-           

ASMORAIUS: [growling] Like hell you don’t. Now, I’m going to go back to my seat next to that large drooling demon and play Belzagor’s GamePal. And you, are going to come up with a plan for us to find Hornblas, because the rest of us have absolutely no idea where to start. [sighs] Okay?

MISROCH: [sighs] Okay.           

ASMORAIUS: [evilly] Good. [back to ASMORAIUS’S normal banter] Also, I’m taking your Grubway cookie because you never eat sweets and I’m very hungry.

MISROCH: Have it.   

ASMORAIUS: Okay. [[SFX: The cookies sheet paper scrunches]] Wonderful. Enjoy your bus ride.

[[SFX: ASMORAIUS scooches back over to his seat]]

MISROCH: Okay. Okay. He’s right. I can do this. What would Hornblas do? [a beat] Actually. No. Fuck that. What would I do?       

[[SFX: MISROCH turns around and whispers to Belzagor]

MISROCH: (CONT'D) BELZAGOR! Psst! Hey Belzagor! ... Belz!... Belzagor? Take those headphones off!

[[SFX: MISROCH reaching behind her seat to pull of BELZAGOR’s headphones]       

BELZAGOR: Woah. What the fuck? I was listening to-   

MISROCH: Gimme your bag. I need a pen and paper.

BELZAGOR: LUCIFER, you’re so annoying. HERE.       

[[SFX: BELZAGOR throws her bag over the seat to MISROCH, MISROCH catches it]

MISROCH: Thanks.

BELZAGOR: Whatever.   

[[SFX: BELZAGOR goes to put her headphones back on]]   

MISROCH: [trying to be nice] What are you listening to?           

BELZAGOR: None of your fucking business.                   

MISROCH: Belz? 

BELZAGOR: WHAT?

MISROCH: [heavy] You’re my best friend. I thought you should know that.   

BELZAGOR: [off guard] Oh. Um....

MISROCH: Yeah. Okay you can keep listening to your thing now.

[[SFX: MISROCH turns around unzips the bag, takes out a pen and paper and starts to write, BELZAGOR takes a beat, puts the headphones back on, she’s listening to recordings of old voice messages from HORNBLAS. Their voices are slightly muffled, but they both sound thrilled to be together]]

HORNBLAS: Okay so what if we went and recorded stuff around the mall and mixed them into our next song? Like, arcade sounds, or the carousel or something?       

BELZAGOR: [excited] I could put it through some like filters and shit so it’s all distorted!

HORNBLAS: That would be so sick!

BELZAGOR: I could probably find a way to like, program them into a synth board so we could still play this stuff live.

HORNBLAS: Oh, speaking of which. I’ve got a lead on our next live gig!

BELZAGOR: [knowing] Of course you do.

HORNBLAS: It’s not the most glamorous thing, but it pays-

BELZAGOR: Where is it?

HORNBLAS: A DMV, In New Haven   

BELZAGOR: ... A DMV... In New Haven?   

HORNBLAS: Yeah, we’d just have to tell Carpasinus we’re leaving the sector for the weekend and-

BELZAGOR: [affectionately] You’re ridiculous.           

HORNBLAS: Think about it though! It’s a guaranteed audience, once people go into the DMV they’re literally stuck there for hours! And we could probably convert over a few fans!

[[SFX: guitar lick fades in as the recording fades out]]

HORNBLAS: (CONT”D): Plus, there’s no way we’d be less entertaining than just sitting in the DMV...

-- SCENE 04 --               

[voicemail, it should have a more tinny quality than the others, it’s coming from very far away]           

AUTOMATED VOICE: You have ONE new message. Received TUESDAY DECEMBER 28th at 7:00pm.       

HORNBLAS: Hey guys. It’s Hornblas. Miss me? I’m kind of surprised no one’s home. Look, I just wanted to say that I’m really really sorry for the radio silence. Especially right before the big gig... I’ve just been going through some-- Well, you must be really worried. [ominous] But I promise you that everything will be fine. More than fine. I’ll be seeing you... soon.

[[SFX: hangs up]]

[[MUSIC: Musical Outro - Brimstone Valley Mall Theme Song plays over credits]]

-- CREDITS -- 

KRISTEN DIMERCURIO: Demons and Mortals alike, thank you for listening to episode eight of Brimstone Valley Mall!

This show was written and directed by Kristen DiMercurio. Hey! That’s me!

It was co-written by Mark Wolf Roberts and Talia Rochmann.

This episode was sound designed by Jared Paul, and recorded by Jared Paul and James Schoen. With music by Julianna Parker.

In this episode you heard:

Misroch, played by Elliot Gindi
Belzagor, played by Susannah Wilson
Asmoraius, played by Mark Wolf Roberts
Xaphan, played by Isa Braun
Hornblas, played by Sheldon Brown
And the Bus Terminal Announcements, played by yours truly.
Additional voices were played by Jake Masters.

Our theme music is written and performed by FM Buller.

Our show art is designed by Talia Rochmann.

Brimstone Valley Mall is produced by Kristen DiMercurio, with Production Consulting by Julia Schifini.

It’s Executive Produced by Mischa Stanton for the Whisperforge.

Our indiegogo patrons are our heroes. By donating to our campaign they helped us bring this strange, strange show into existence. So let’s scream out a very loud, very shrill thank you to: Tony Dahbura, Len Truelsen, Robert Gray, Teresa De Long, Katherine Crewell-Fuerst, Eric Bender, Theodore Papalexopoulos, Megan MacKenzie, Jordan Stillman, Krysten Trindade, Eden Garrod, Ellen Touart-Grob and Larry Grob, Kinsey Wilson and Margaret Lowe, Sarah Golding, Alex Cantatore, Randi Kathleen Tucker, Jack Calk, Max Kross, Hannah Snyder, Ariel Young, Joeri Pross, Steven Liberto, Zach Libresco, Eric Silver, and Misha Lambert.

Want more good good demon content? You can follow us on twitter @bvmpod, and facebook, instagram, and tumblr at brimstonevalleymall.

Now before our next and final episode of the season, we are going to be taking a short break. Why? Because the Brimstone Valley Mall season one finale is gonna be big.. Like, very very big. So big that our team is going to need a little extra time to cook up this horrible monstrous monstrous thing we’ve made. So hold tight, the wait will be worth it.

Now head on over to the food court, because today’s Weiner World Special Is: Gut Pretzels! So pliable! So squishy! Just add salt.